Real Estate Lessons From An Alcoholic Father (Rev. 2025)

Most people who know me are aware that I grew up in an alcoholic household, we lived ALL OVER THE PUGET SOUND! From White Center and SeaTac to Milton and Edgewood. If it was in the Puget Sound Washington State Area, we were there. After separating from the alcoholic I knew as my dad, I lived in Mountlake Terrace, which is 15 minutes north of Seattle, and then eventually moved to Puyallup, WA. That is where I pretty much stayed, as far as area goes. We were in Graham for a while, and now back in the Sumner, Bonney Lake WA area. Regardless of where I am, here are some of the lessons that I learned from an alcoholic dad who was deeply flawed as we all are, but also overcame some large odds and did some amazing things that most will never hear about. Maybe you have someone like that in your family. Not famous or popular, but has made impacts on lives around them only to be realized post-death.... I digress.

Growing up in such environments shapes us in various ways, both positively and negatively. Additionally, we have to navigate multiple perspectives: my own view of my dad, his sister's perspective, my mom's viewpoint, his friends' insights, acquaintances' observations, and so on. This narrative is my perspective, though it has been influenced by those around me contributing to a certain persona.

Before I delve deeper, you should know that my dad passed away in September 2016. The cause? Alcohol, indirectly. It was more about the mistakes he made under the influence that led to his demise. If you've ever been drunk or been around those loosened by drink, you've probably witnessed the lesser side of wisdom. He fell while drunk, broke five ribs, which ultimately led to an untreated ruptured spleen and internal bleeding. Graphic for a real estate blog, huh?

I won't delve too much more into my dad in this post but will share other stories as they come to mind in future blogs. Maybe you're wondering about the lessons a lifelong, homeless, alcoholic father could impart. Well, if you're familiar with wisdom, you'll know it's found in the most audacious realms. Whether sober or drunk, my dad would talk real estate. He was an agent for a while and then became a right-of-way agent for the Washington State Department of Transportation (WSDOT). Essentially, he was a real estate agent for the State of Washington. I don't know if he was good at his job, but I do know that I learned a few things from him:

"There is a buyer for every property": I started in the business in July 2016, living in downtown Puyallup, WA. Puyallup is in a valley, and the roads are on a grid system. It's a quaint, walkable town. One day, shortly after I was licensed, I walked by a property listed for $179,000—a small 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom home in a fantastic part of town with few updates. I remember thinking, "Who would pay this much for that?" Later, when talking to my dad, I mentioned the house, to which he responded, "André, there is a buyer for every property." Later, I walked by the same property and saw it was pending sale. Lesson one, learned.

"That is a good piece of property": My dad would often drive drunk with us in the car. During these times, he'd talk about properties he helped the state purchase and why they were valuable. He'd discuss future plans for the cities or counties we were in and why the government wanted to buy those properties. He told stories of homeowners holding out for more money from the government. Mainly, he'd point out why a property was good: "This one is good because a developer will want to put warehouses here someday; they already have on the other side of this highway," or "Look how many people drive by this every day; this would be good for such and such business." He emphasized looking for the highest and best use of the property, noting that some people don't know the value of their own property and will sell it for nothing—that's where the money is made. A good piece of property includes all types of real estate; you just have to know what you're looking for.

In 2010—"André! Buy a house! They are basically giving them away! The government is giving you a tax credit, and you will never see houses this cheap again in your lifetime. Interest rates are nothing right now!": Far be it from me to see the silver lining of being yelled at by a drunk. I missed that opportunity because part of the reason my dad wanted me to buy a house was so he could live with me, and I did not want that to be my life sentence. While I've since purchased several properties, I didn't buy my first until 2017. I tried to buy in 2013, but we had some half-hearted real estate agents from a high-end community who never truly cared about getting us into a property and didn't put any effort into helping us. That's why, at the risk of being turned down to work with someone, I'll always give you the best information I have to get you there if you want it.

Take time to listen: If you've ever been around a true alcoholic, you know they can't stop talking. When you try to interrupt or get a word in, they get upset, or louder, or both. But this teaches one valuable lesson as a kid—listen. Most of us want to be seen and heard. So, when I get to your house to help you sell, just know that I've been through training on how to listen.

"You can't smell a picture": Or, in other words, "Look at the inventory in person." Most skilled agents know this truth, and it's something my dad taught me.